I Wish You Love
by iamkellylouise
Summary: One night turns into two, turns into three, turns into more? Meredith turns to Alex for the comfort she needs, somewhere along the way can they find more? MerAlex.


**A/N: Set in 2x18, Mer meets Alex at the bar instead of Mark, but none of the Izzie stuff (after the Olivia cheating stuff) happened (Y)**

* * *

"Hey" Meredith sighed hopping up onto the barstool next to Alex "Tequila keep them coming Joe"

"Rough day?" Joe asked as he sets two shot glasses onto the bar in front of her and poured in the tequila, Meredith's reply was downing them both and gesturing for a refill, he filled them up with a sad smile before moving onto the next customer.

"You look sad" Alex said looking at Meredith.

"I just saw my father for the first time in 20 years" Meredith said simply.

"Ooh, ouch, how'd that go?"

"Could've gone better" she shrugged.

"Wanna get so drunk we forget our own names?"

"I always liked you" Meredith grinned, she slid one of the shot glasses over to him.

"Bottoms up" he smirked, they tapped the glasses against each other and knocked them back. And the shots just keep on coming.

_-x-_

They're not really sure how they get there but they're in Alex's apartment stumbling over their own feet, they fall back onto the couch and tug at each others clothes. Meredith knew it was coming the minute the words drink and forget came from his mouth. She _was_ an expert in inappropriate sex after all. When they wake up the next morning they're completely naked. Meredith lying on top of Alex in a mess of skin and limbs.

"Hey" he mumbles as they stir.

"Hey" she almost groans "We're naked"

"Yeah" Alex laughs.

"Should we have done that?"

"Probably not" he smirks, they drop back into a quietness, not moving from the embrace "Wanna do it again?" he asks bluntly, and then lips are on lips and she's sat up on her knees lowering herself onto him. They're 10 minutes late for work but nobody suspects a thing.

_-x-_

Meredith doesn't know quite why she does it but she's had a really bad day and he just knows how to make her feel better. Sex was always her perfect remedy. So it's 3 days after their first encounter and she's at his apartment door. As soon as it closes behind her she strips. He stares at her for a moment. And then she flashes him a mischievous 'take me now' grin and she's pinned up against the door screaming his name within minutes. She can't walk after. He has to carry her to bed. It was so worth it.

_-x-_

Meredith promised herself that was the last time. But then she finds him in an on-call room with his shirt off a week later and she remembers that thing he does with his tongue against her skin and she finds herself pouncing on him. She decides she really needs to learn self-control. She doesn't count on Cristina seeing them sneaking out of the on-call room together, both with that obvious post-sex glow. Within minutes Cristina has her locked in a supply closet.

"You've got some serious explaining to do" Cristina hisses at her.

"What are you talking about?" Meredith asks, with a look on her face like Cristina had just spoken to her in a foreign language.

"I'm talking about you and Evil Spawn stumbling out of an on-call room that's what I'm talking about!"

"Oh"

"Yeah, oh" she smirks "So, what's going on?"

"Well it started with tequila" Meredith sighs "Just over a week ago, we got drunk and ended up at his place, on his sofa, and then we woke up and, well, one thing led to another and then I just happened to drop by 3 days later and today I was intending on getting some sleep but he was there half naked and…."

"There's this thing called Self. Control." Cristina says slowly.

"I know" Meredith groans.

"He's, it's, it's Alex Karev!"

"I know"

"He sleeps with, everyone _and _he cheated on Izzie!"

"I know"

"It won't happen again right?"

"Right" Meredith nods.

_-x-_

But then it's another week later and Alex finds Meredith searching through a supply closet and then the doors slammed and their scrubs are around their ankles within seconds and she's biting down on his shoulder in fear that someone will hear her screams, because she's always been a screamer and she's pretty sure he's the best she's ever had. She used to think that was McDreamy. She shows up at his apartment that night.

"I think…." she starts, she closes her mouth tightly, he watches her from across the room.

"You think…." Alex prompts.

"I think we should, do it one last time and then, that's it, done, no more sex for us" she stutters.

"You want to stop?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"It's not that it's not good, I mean, it's great actually, amazing but, I can't start something with you, I don't want to be your play thing when the nurses won't put out"

"You're the only one I've slept with since this, whatever this is, started" he says with a small smile, he looks completely proud of himself.

"Wha….what?" Meredith exclaims.

"Since that night, at Joe's, it's only been you" Alex says stepping close in front of her.

"Izzie will hate me" Meredith mumbles "No, no we can't, we can't start something"

"Why?" Alex whispers pressing his lips onto her neck "You like me….I like you...and we….have….amazing….sex" he grins kissing her skin between each phrase.

"You really are Evil Spawn" Meredith mutters, she squealed when Alex lifted her up in his arms and before she knows it she's on his bed and she's naked and he's doing that tongue thing again and she thinks she actually forgets her name at some point but she certainly doesn't forget his when she screams it out at the top of her lungs and then she's lying in his arms drifting slowly to sleep. He wakes her up the next morning with a kiss and he doesn't relent until she opens her eyes and looks at him.

"Alex" Meredith sighs "We have to stop this"

"Why?" Alex says kissing her softly "We want this, why should we stop?"

"Because, because it would hurt Izzie"

"Izzie doesn't want me"

"Because you slept with syph nurse"

"Because she doesn't want me" he replies seriously "But you do, right?"

"Yeah" she sighs in defeat.

"And I want you so, I don't see the problem"

"I can't, I know this has been about just sex and…."

"This isn't about just sex" he whispers "Not anymore"

"That's the problem!" she exclaims "Because the last time, the last time I didn't have, just sex, I, I just, I can't, he, he broke my heart and, I can't do that again, I can't put my heart on the line and then find out you have a secret wife and I just can't"

"Ok, number 1" Alex says sitting up and looking down at Meredith's face, his hand cupping her cheek softly "I'm not married, never have been" he says with a smirk "Number 2, he's an ass and I know I have been but he's, he pretends he's a good guy, and it's pretty much what you see is what you get with me"

"That's true" Meredith laughs.

"And number 3, I can't promise I won't break your heart, but I can promise that I'll try not too and if you really think about it, that's all anyone can ever give you Mer so, you just need to let go, let go of the fear"

"I _really_ don't like you" Meredith pouts.

"Liar" Alex whispers before crashing his lips back on hers.

_-x-_

It's at lunch when someone picks up on the tension between them, and it's Cristina because she can read Meredith like a book. She actually drags her from the cafeteria by the wrist and throws her into a supply closet.

"What did we say about you and Karev?" she exclaims.

"I don't, what, what are you talking about?" Meredith stutters nervously.

"You were practically drooling over each other Meredith"

"I uh, it's, I went to his place again last night" Meredith mutters hanging her head down low "I think, I think he might be, my boyfriend"

"YOUR WHAT?" Cristina shouts, Meredith swears she hears the life outside the supply closet stop still.

"Sshh!" she hisses.

"You, you can't be serious?"

"I am" Meredith says with a small smile.

"Your, your, an idiot, deranged, what's your temp?" Cristina says putting the back of her hand against Meredith's forehead, Meredith pushed her hand away with a scowl.

"Cristina, I want this, shouldn't you be happy that I'm not picking up a different man every night? Putting myself in danger?"

"Alex Karev screams danger" Cristina mutters with a slight laugh "Izzie's not going to like this"

"I know" Meredith says sadly "I'm telling her tonight"

"Oh, good luck with that" Cristina smirks.

"Shut up"

_-x-_

That night Meredith paced anxiously up and down the kitchen waiting for Izzie to get home, she heard the front door slam and the sound of feet heading for the kitchen.

"Hey Mer" Izzie smiles "Whats wrong?" she frowns.

"Uh, I think, we should sit" Meredith says pulling out two chairs at the kitchen table.

"Okay" Izzie says slowly taking a seat "Are you ok? You look pale. Are you sick?" she says reaching out and touching Meredith's forehead.

"No, no I'm not sick, well, probably a little in the head but with my mother…." Meredith says with a laugh.

"Meredith, talk to me" Izzie says squeezing her hand.

"I'm seeing someone, a man, I, I'm seeing a man" Meredith stutters.

"Oh, great, that's good, right?"

"It's Alex" Meredith blurts.

"What's Alex?"

Meredith just sighs.

"Oh" Izzie says dropping Meredith's hand "Oh, right" she stutters "Well, that's, nice" she says standing up.

"Izzie" Meredith sighs.

"No, no it's fine, you want to sleep with the man who cheated on me fair enough, it's your life, even though you saw how much it hurt me and I've been there for you through all this stuff with McDreamy" by now Izzie was pacing the room frantically.

"Izzie, sit down"

"I'm fine, just fine, perfect" Izzie says walking over to the cupboards pulling out the baking powder "I'm just fine"

"She's baking, why is she baking?" George asks as he walked in.

"Nothing, nothing I'm fine, it's just Meredith seems to be dating Alex and I'm fine with that really" Izzie's voice getting higher by the word.

"Your dating Alex?" George exclaims.

"As of yesterday yes" Meredith sighs "Izzie, if it's really a problem then, I'll just, I'll end it"

"No, no I'm not asking you to end it" Izzie says finally stopping "I just, I don't, it's just a bit, weird, that's all"

"It's a little weird for me too" Meredith says with a small laugh.

"He breaks your heart and I will kick his ass" George says with as much conviction as he could muster, Meredith and Izzie took one look at his face and burst out laughing.

_-x-_

"Alex, what are you doing?" Meredith mutters as Alex wraps his arms around her from behind in the locker room.

"I'm hugging my girlfriend" he smirks.

"Put her down Karev" Cristina barks as she walked into the room.

"No can do" Alex grins, he turned Meredith around and kissed her softly "Good morning"

"Good morning" Meredith smirks "Now can you put me down so I can get ready"

"Fine" Alex sighs "But you're coming over tonight right?"

"I'm on call _but_ it's my turn to walk Doc tomorrow morning if you want to come with me"

"Sure" Alex smiles.

"Can I come?" Cristina asks.

"What?" Meredith laughs "Why would _you_ want to come?"

"To see the look on McDoucheys face when you turn up with him" Cristina smirks.

"It's none of his business who I date" Meredith sighs "Plus we're friends now so he's not allowed to judge me"

"I judge you" Cristina says dryly.

"You judge everyone" Meredith laughs.

"This is true" Cristina nods.

"So you'll come?" Meredith asks looking up at Alex.

"You bet" Alex smiles kissing her again.

_-x-_

"The guy earns $2 million a year and he lives in a tin can" Alex mutters as they pulled up outside of Derek's trailer.

"Yeah" Meredith laughs "But he owns all this land so…."

"But still, a trailer? I bet the She-Shepherd hates it"

"Me too" Meredith laughs stepping out of the car, Alex met her around the front and linked his fingers through hers, Addison stepped out of the trailer with Doc on his leash, Meredith laughed a little when she saw her raise an eyebrow and then growl when Doc shot out from beside her and ran straight for Meredith.

"Hey boy" Meredith says crouching down and fussing him a little "I've missed you"

"Meredith, Dr Karev, good morning" Addison smiles.

"Dr Montgomery-Shepherd" Alex smiles "Where's McDouch...ah!" he yelps when Meredith smacks him hard on the leg "What?"

"Inappropriate" she mutters.

"Sorry" Alex mumbles.

"_Derek_ is at the hospital" Addison smirks "He's due home any minute so…."

"We should get going" Meredith says straightening herself up "See you when we get back, Doc, come on boy" she says happily.

"You love him more than me don't you" Alex smirks.

"Yeah" Meredith laughs.

"But I give you org….ahhh!" Alex screams as Meredith stamps on his foot.

"Inappropriate!" she hisses.

"Sorry babe" Alex laughs kissing her softly.

"We'll be back soon" Meredith smiles "Come on pervert" she says dragging Alex away.

"Bye" Addison laughs.

_-x-_

"Is that…." Derek starts as he sits on his porch with Addison.

"Karev" Addison finishes "Yeah"

They watched as Meredith and Alex approached them holding hands, Alex stepped in front of Meredith to stop her from walking any further and kissed her softly, Derek's jaw almost hit the floor.

"Are they…." he starts.

"Apparently so" Addison sighs "Is that a problem or something?"

"No, no of course not" Derek says quickly, but Addison couldn't help but notice the jealousy in his eyes.

"Hey" Meredith smiles "Ok Doc" she says bending down and fussing the dog "You be a good boy, I'll come and see you soon but for now Alex is going to buy me food because I'm hungry"

"When did we decide I was buying you food?" Alex laughs.

"We didn't. I did" Meredith grins "Thanks for letting me take him"

"He's still your dog Meredith" Addison says softly.

"Right" Meredith smiles "Well, we'll see you at the hospital later then?"

"Yeah, bye Meredith, Karev"

"Bye" he smiles, he took Meredith's hand back in his and slowly led them to her car "He's jealous" he says simply as they pulled away.

"What?"

"Shepherd, he looked like he wanted to stab me"

"Alex, don't be ridiculous" Meredith laughs "He's married"

"And in love with you" Alex mumbles.

"I asked him to choose and he chose, he chose her"

"He chose her to 'do the right thing' that doesn't mean to say he doesn't love you"

"What exactly are you trying to get at Alex?"

"If he left her, asked for another chance, would you give it to him?"

"No" Meredith says softly, she reached out and squeezed his hand "I have you, I _want_ you and, I think I could really, love you and, I'm not saying I'm completely over him, because I don't think you can get over love just like that but, I think, I know that, I'm falling for you Alex and, I don't want you to forget that"

"I'm falling for you too" Alex smiles "And we sound so corny right now, lets stop"

"Definitely" Meredith laughs.

_-x-_

3 months pass by and seeing Alex and Meredith together was pretty much a sure thing. Izzie even seemed to come around to the idea when she was almost certain that Alex was being a good boyfriend. Doc had become ill and there were a lot of incidents where Meredith and Alex had to come face to face with a jealous looking Derek. Meredith never noticed but Alex sure as hell did, and so did Addison. And then there was an awkward phone call and where Meredith has to talk to Derek and Alex can't help but move his hands across her body and it's pretty obvious what they're doing when she lets out a quiet moan, she hits Alex over the head as soon as she's hung up but then his heads between her legs and she swears she blacks out a little.

_-x-_

It's another month before a decision has to be made about Doc and ever since that phone call Derek's hardly looked her way. And then the interns are all in trouble for cutting the LVAD wire of Denny Duquette so they're organizing a prom for the Chiefs niece. And it's been 2 days since Alex had last touched Meredith so he drags her off to an on-call room and they're naked within seconds. And just as Meredith screams his name the door opens, they look up and they're faced with a pale looking Derek, the door slams shut and then Alex is looking up at Meredith with a smirk on his face and then they're laughing.

And she finds it funny until she's on a case with Derek later that day and he talks to her like she's the devil so she follows him into the stairwell.

"Have you got a problem with me or something?" Meredith says as she follows him up the stairs.

"No it's good. I'm good."

"Look, I know it must have been weird seeing me and Alex but…."

"At least you've stopped sleeping around"

"What did you just say to me?" Meredith asks angry and teary eyed, Derek stopped on the stairwell and turned to look at her.

"I guess you're made for each other, I heard he's slept with half the hospital, whose next, George?" he moved to leave and Meredith grabbed his arm to pull him back.

"You don't get to call me a whore!" Meredith says angrily "When I met you I thought I'd found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared because I was done! You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued together now and it was Alex who did that, he was the one who helped repair what you broke so no, you don't get to call me a whore" she takes a deep breath because she hasn't really stopped for one since she started speaking, Derek just shoots her a cold dejected look.

"This thing with us is finished. It's over"

"It already was" she spits "Goodbye Dr Shepherd"

_-x-_

She doesn't mention it to Alex until the following evening when they're dancing together at the prom and before she can stop him he's across the room and Derek's on the floor with a bloody nose and Addison actually screams and then Derek's back on his feet and he's punching back and then Meredith's screaming and it's not until the Chief's booming voice echoes throughout the room that they pull apart and then the four of them are in his office and Meredith and Addison are cleaning up their messed up faces.

"He should be thrown off the program" Derek snaps.

"I'm sure Dr Karev has a very good reason for punching his attending, don't you Dr Karev" the Chief says sternly.

"When someone calls your girlfriend a whore it can kind of make you a little angry" Alex almost growls.

"Alex, it's fine" Meredith sighs "Just apologize"

"Apologize!" Alex yells "Are you freaking kidding me?"

"No but I am not kidding you when I say if you get kicked of the program I will kill you" Meredith hisses "I told you I handled it"

"He. Called. You. A. Whore." Alex says slowly "Did you really think I was going to let that slide?"

"Why does he keep saying that? Derek. Why does he keep saying you called her a whore?" Addison says with an obvious worry in her voice, Derek can't even look her in the eye "Oh my god" Addison mutters "What the hell Derek?" she exclaims "Meredith, what did he say?"

"Addison, it's fine" Meredith sighs "Chief is Alex going to get in trouble for this?"

"I think a few days of suturing will be enough"

"WHAT?" Derek shouts.

"You gave as good as you got Shepherd, and from what I'm hearing it looks like you deserved it"

"This is ridiculous" Derek mutters.

"Meredith. What. Did. He. Say?" Addison stresses, Meredith sighed heavily knowing that she wouldn't be leaving that room until she told "Well, he uh, he walked in on me and Alex, uh, y'know and then he was speaking to me like I was a piece of crap on his shoe so I asked him if he had a problem and he said at least you've stopped sleeping around and that me and Alex are made for each other because he's heard he's slept with half the hospital and suggested that I'd move onto George next" Meredith finishes with a breath.

"Y'know what Karev, forget the sutures" the Chief sighs "Nobody speaks to a fellow member of staff like that, no matter what their personal history is, no matter what, that is no way to speak to a fellow human being, I am ashamed of you Shepherd, disgusted, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Y'know what Chief, he doesn't get to say a word" Addison says shakily "I've tried, I've tried so hard to ignore it, the jealous stares and the, the way you look at her and, I've had enough, enough is enough, I can't do it anymore, I can't be the woman people look at and say 'she's the one who's husband is lusting after someone else right under her nose' and, I'm not going to be that woman, this, this is done Derek, we're over"

"Addison" he sighs.

"No. It's done" and with that she leaves the room and Meredith can't help but run after her and she finds her sat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest crying her eyes out, Meredith slides down onto the floor next to her and wraps her arms around her.

"I'm sorry" she whispers.

"It's not your fault" Addison sniffles.

"I know but, I'm sorry"

"I just can't do it anymore"

"I know" Meredith says softly.

"I should have just stepped aside, I knew he didn't love me anymore, I should have made him sign the papers"

"He wanted to try Addison" Meredith sighs "This isn't your fault, this is all him"

"Yeah" Addison says with an exasperated laugh.

"Mer, sorry to interrupt but, you have to come now, it's Izzie" Alex pants as he ran up to Meredith and Addison.

"What? What d'you mean?"

"Denny died"

"What?" Meredith gasps "Where is she?"

"In his room, Olivia said she won't leave"

"Crap" Meredith says climbing to her feet "You going to be ok?" she asks turning to Addison.

"Izzie needs you, go, I'll be fine" Addison says with a small smile.

_-x-_

Meredith knows it's probably not the right time to think about it but she knows in the exact moment that Alex talks to Izzie and lifts her off of Denny's body that she loves him. But she just sits back and watches him comfort her. It's not until the following evening that she mentions it, they've all spent the day sitting Shiva on the bathroom floor and she has to say something, so they're lying in bed, Meredith snuggled into his arms and she decides to just go for it.

"If I say something you can't freak out and run ok?" Meredith says quietly.

"Ok" Alex says slowly.

"I love you"

Alex can't help but smile and press a kiss on her forehead "I love you too"

_The End._


End file.
